Cacame Awemedinade
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Этой статье присвоена категория «Д» — значит «Дварфы». Это значит, что в ней встречаются смешные шутки, не очень смешные шутки, совсем не смешные шутки, всякие внутриигровые приколы и ссылки на форум Bay12. Не верьте всему, что тут понаписали, и не расстраивайтесь, если чего-то не поняли. |
Эльфийский Король Дворфов, Cacame Awemedinade Monípalóthi (Cacame Apebalded, the Immortal Onslaught) - наиболее единственный альфа-эльф в мире.
В одном отдельном куске мультивселенной Dwarf Fortress(сгенерированом Holy Mittens'ом), Cacame продвинулся до звания Эльфийского Короля Дворфов. История его восхода к славе была запечатлена в эпическом треде на 60+ страницна форуме Bay 12 Games, включая оригинальные зарисовки, экономические дискуссии, отредактированные raw-файлы, произвольность генератора, шутки о Чаке Норрисе, отсылки к Battletech, и, даже тематический мегапроект.
Краткая история
Родственники
Cacame Awemedinade родился в 83 году от союза Fewetha Spokenthundered (воительницы с 5 убийствами) и Osime (искателя приключений), обоих в конце концов убил и сьел Gibberlings (нелепая модифицированная тварь, которая существует для убийства, поглощения и размножения) при разных обстоятельствах; его дед по материнской линии был Королем Field of Kindling, также известным тем, что убил мегачудовище, и дрался с еще одним. Эти двое дали ему Королевскую Кровь еще до того, как он начал свой восход к трону Короля Дворфов и определили его путь, как великие воители.
Что до остальной семьи Cacame, все они прожили малозначительную жизнь. К несчастью, большинство все еще проживает в стране эльфов.
Early life and rise to Sovereignty
The Creation of Ferns dwarven civilization and Cacame's former Field of Kindling elven civilization were at war for many years, with the dwarves systematically defeating the elves for decades. In 90, the dwarves conquered his home city of Oily Typhoon and placed a new dwarven governor in charge. Cacame was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a Guard. Two years later, an elven attack from the Field of Kindling's city of Fish of Magic injured him in the lower body and killed his wife Nemo Ruyavaiyici (who was then eaten by Amoya Themarifa, the elf who killed her). Maddened with grief, Cacame set off to the nearest front as soon he healed enough to fight.
During his first combat he took up his fallen commander's legendary warhammer[name?] and slayed many elves with it, being noted as the battle's fiercest and deadliest warrior; for his deeds, the dwarves' second-in-command acknowledged that Cacame would best put the warhammer to use and should keep it.
Two years after that, in 99, the Battle of Both Kings was fought. In this battle Cacame struck down King Nithe of Field of Kindling (who was finished off by another dwarf called Sibrek Handpages, though); however the other king slain was the dwarven king himself. The dwarves decided that Cacame, by now dubbed "The Immortal Onslaught", should take over as their king.
Once made King, Cacame left in a brief quest to resurrect his wife. He returned riding a zombie wyvern, but without achieving his goal. In 111, at the age of 28, he moved his capital to the Gamilrag (Trustclaps) Fortress.
Colossus of Cacame
Due to a courtier's inadvertent slight to his zombie wyvern, King Cacame would go on to defeat a red dragon called Sokröx Glimmerfair (the Duty of Coloring) with nothing more than Competent Hammer skill. This deed inspired the admiring dwarves to build a monument to their king, the Colossus of Cacame. It is told by the bards that there was a large goblin attack during the inauguration party, and that King Cacame himself stood alone before the Colossus and glared at the goblins until they panicked and routed. Some naysayers[Who?], however, claim that a battle was actually fought and won before King Cacame's arrival.
His cape is made of solid gold. It took 949 bars of gold to forge. The vast majority of that gold was home-smelted. The head of his hammer is made of mithril with an iron band around it, spike at the top, and handle. That's 132 bars of mithril and 37 bars of iron.
His armor and helmet are made of obsidian. I'm not even going to attempt to calculate or count how many stones it took. It was a lot of them. The horns on his helmet are cinnabar. His flesh is forged of platinum. 33 bars in total. His eyes are clear glass blocks. Behind his eyes are pools of magma that were pumped from the pipe a fair distance away. Sadly, Visual Fortress doesn't display this as two huge glowing orbs of elf-hating malice. The construction took the lifes of five workers, who were properly honored and entombed.
Questing for revenge
In time, King Cacame's Royal Guard expanded to other races, coming to include like-minded elfs and even a couple of awe-thralled goblins, all fanatically loyal and immensely skilled.
Hearing of King Cacame's might and the splendor of his kingdom, the Elven King Iwo Lolamaficemi (Barricaded Sever of Flaying), who fought against and ate Amoya Themarifa, found that it would be advantageous to make a State Visit to Gamilrag. This (predictably) turned out to be a mistake, and he left in a hurry with his entourage after a very brief private meeting. While the precise words exchanged are unknown, it isn't hard to guess what happened.
The elven king's visit had, however, the effect of stirring the desire to take direct revenge on his wife's killer, and drove Cacame to leave the fortress incognito. While the king returned more bitter than ever (if that's even possible) and never spoke about what happened, some inquisitive bards managed to find clues to his doings elsewhere.
Dissatisfaction and Ennui
Having his deepest desires denied, Cacame started to fall into a apathy-driven lassitude. However, when the humans decided to besiege his fortress he recovered some of his spirit, lowered the drawbridge and waited them out alone between the legs of his Colossus to greet and entertain them.
On this occasion, he taught them to play hammer tag, dodgearrow, head cricket, foegolf, and other contact sports; he also showed them a few parlor tricks such as "punt away the horse from under its rider". To his great chagrin, the surviving humans quickly decided the party was running late and retired...
After that, he started leaving in short stress relieving incognito trips, and appeared to have regained his old fire.
Goblin reaction (by Neruz)
Goblin1: Man, I heard about these Dwarves. They have an Elf, for their King!
Goblin2: You sh*tting me?
Goblin1: I am totally serious, this Elf is so badass the Dwarves accept him as their King!
Goblin2: Fsck that, lets go raid the Orcs.
Goblin1: Probably be safer.
Add him to your game!
Engraving and decorations
Shima: Add this to descriptor_shape_standard.txt in the raws, and he will show up in other worlds. He might also appear in the likes of Dwarves, possibly ... will appear in engravings and decorations for all races, that much I can tell you for sure. There may be some odd syntax "Engraving of a ale-chugging Elf King etcetc" and such, but that's the nature. Rarely, in a Dwarf's likes, it might show "Elf King Cacame Lastnamey" as a like as well.
[SHAPE:ELFKING] [NAME:Elf King Cacame Awemedinade:Elf King Cacame Awemedinade] [ADJ:awe-inspiring] [ADJ:grand] [ADJ:marvelous] [ADJ:kickass] [ADJ:Elf-hating] [ADJ:ale-chugging] [ADJ:great] [ADJ:excellent] [ADJ:fantastic] [ADJ:majestic] [ADJ:extraordinary] [ADJ:tall] [ADJ:magma-loving] [ADJ:hammering] [ADJ:fighting] [ADJ:warring] [ADJ:zombie wyvern-riding] [ADJ:dragon-slaying] [ADJ:hardballing] [ADJ:demon-slaying] [ADJ:siege-breaking] [ADJ:adventuring] [TILE:69]
Awemedinite
Shima: I bring you... Awemedinite!
(for version 0.28.181.40d only)
This goes into Matgloss_Metal [MATGLOSS_METAL:AWEMEDINITE] [NAME:Awemedinite] [ADJ:Awesome] [COLOR:5:5:0] [VALUE:1000] [SPEC_HEAT:7500] [MELTING_POINT:50000] [BOILING_POINT:60000] [WEAPON] [WEAPON_RANGED] [ARMOR] [DAMAGE_PERC:800] [BLOCK_PERC:800] [SOLID_DENSITY:200] [DEEP]
And this into Reaction_Standard [REACTION:AWEMEDINITE] [NAME:make Awemedinite bars] [SMELTER] [REAGENT:15:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:IRON] [REAGENT:10:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:STEEL] [REAGENT:5:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:GOLD] [REAGENT:5:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:SILVER] [REAGENT:50:STONE:NO_SUBTYPE:STONE:MICROCLINE] [REAGENT:3:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:ADAMANTINE] [PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:AWEMEDINITE] [FUEL]
